I think we can all agree that 2017 has been…a year. A year of great change, great joys, and great challenges. The way I started this year is certainly different than the way I’m ending it, but I am grateful nonetheless! With the coming of the new year and an opportunity for a fresh start, I want to share with you my reason for starting this blog. There’s no way I can put it all into one post, but let’s skim the surface.
I intend for this blog to be a realistic and relatable source for self development. It’s not going to be all sunshine and smiles – sorry! Self help and self love is so much more than face masks and bubble baths. It’s talking about and understanding difficult situations and responsibilities. It’s staying grounded and humble while building confidence. I have learned so much about myself, others, and this pursuit of happiness, and I’m so excited to share. This is bound to be quite a lengthy post, so bear with me. It’s worth it, I promise.
First off, happiness is not a destination.
I repeat, happiness is not a destination. There is nothing you will achieve and nothing you can purchase that will guarantee your happiness for life. Happiness is a lifestyle. Happiness is how you choose to react to struggles. It’s fighting for what you’re willing to fight for. It’s knowing what is worth fighting for.
Everything is temporary.
Everything. Your feeling of despair – temporary. That job you can’t stand – temporary. Similarly, that feeling of elation, of complete joy – temporary. Understand this. There are no guarantees in this life, except that everything has the ability and opportunity to change and/or end.
And hey, I’m not saying this to be a debbie downer! I’m not trying to tell you that your loving relationship is going to end or you’ll never feel content again. My ultimate goal is building a happy and fulfilled life for myself and all of you. But, the reality is, situations and people change and evolve. Nothing is ever definite until it’s already happened.
Something I’ve learned to do over the past two years is to stop expecting. I’ve stopped putting too much energy and confidence into things that may not happen. Some energy is necessary and healthy, but I’m talking about putting your all into something you don’t know for certain. For example, planning your whole life around a college acceptance to a reach school. You just don’t know! What you can do instead, is hope. I wish all the time for things to work out the way I want them to, but I understand that there is a chance they won’t work out in my favor. That way, if it does work out, I’m overjoyed! And if it doesn’t, I haven’t set myself up for the pain of disappointment.
Listen, I know this is starting to sound like a pretty bah-humbug way of life.
But, hear me out.
Let me preface this by saying I am not a religious person, but I do believe in fate.
I believe that everything that happens in life is for a reason, be it to give, take, or teach. I trust that every decision I make is because I was meant to decide that. Every consequence and every occurrence is due to what happened before, but it all plays out as it’s meant to.
Here’s an example for you. This past month, I quit my job of over a year to try working for a new company. After day 3, I hated this new place. I felt belittled, uncomfortable, unwanted. I felt as though these people were training me just to watch me fail. Despite my heart telling me to dump the place and move on, I stuck it out for a few weeks. I finished my training, passed the tests, and had a few shifts working on my own. Still, the feelings were the same. Every time I went there, something was wrong. Whether it be my uniform was incorrect, I forgot something, or I was late, something was just not right. And I thought about it. It shouldn’t be this difficult. It shouldn’t be this stressful. If this was the right place for me, it would be easy. OR, I wouldn’t mind the little things going wrong. Either way, it wasn’t easy, and I did mind the things going wrong. And so, I left.
New opportunities and new people come into our lives because they are meant to. If you welcome them, it’s because you’re meant to. If you reject them, you guessed it, it’s because you’re meant to. Trust the process.
Acceptance of the fact that nothing is certain, but everything plays out as its meant to, has been step one for me in living a happier life. It allows me to give energy and focus into the things that are in the now. I am so much more appreciative of the little things day by day. I stress less about conflicts that arise, because I know that no matter the outcome, it’s what’s supposed to happen. I put good energy and good thoughts into the world with hopes that they will come back to me. My intention to spread light and acceptance wherever I go and to whomever I speak with. I want to spread that to all of you.
There is so much more.
Life has the opportunity to be so full. There is so much life to be lived, happiness to enjoy, and knowledge to gain. I refuse to be someone who wastes my time on this earth. I will never allow myself to go through the motions day to day without truly living. Every day, I aim to do something that brings me joy, brings joy to others, or allows for self growth. I urge you not to settle for a life that’s good, or fine. Strive for a life that’s extraordinary. Strive for a life that blows your mind when you go to sleep each night. Accept yourself for who you are, just as you are. Do the things that make you happy. Study what interests you. Fight for your beliefs. Live your life.
Friends, I wish the healthiest and happiest New Year to you and your loved ones. Let’s all aim for growth, acceptance, and joy this 2018.