Perhaps my favorite thing my mother has ever taught me - everybody’s got their shit
The proverbial “shit” here meaning baggage, stressors, problems. The thing is though, a lot of our shit is the same, and nobody talks about it. After opening up about disordered eating and an unhealthy relationship with my body, my existing friendships deepened, and I found new accountability partners.. After opening up about sexual assault and harassment in the workplace, I bonded with girls from my high school I’d never spoken to before, but had been through the same thing. And opening up about my mental health issues sparked conversations with old friends, coworkers, peers, and mentors.
Need to talk about your shit?
who, what, why?
Allow me to take you back to a time long, long ago when a Tinder date sparked my lifestyle revolution.
In hindsight, I think I give too much credit to said Tinder date. It wasn’t that great. But the 2 hours I spent with this stranger (whom I never saw ever again) awakened in me something I had never realized – I’m so, painfully, boring.
First dates are all about the questions and the answers and getting to know someone and finding common ground, right? They’re supposed to be exciting and fun! This one was quite the flop – and it was all my fault.
Date: “So, do you play any sports?”
Me: “No, not really. I’m pretty bad at sports. Does rec soccer in 6th grade count?
Date: “Last weekend I went to an amusement park with my brother, it was so fun! We should go sometime!”
Me: “Eh, I’m not a huge fan. Actually I’m terrified of rollercoasters, and pretty much any contraption where I’m off the ground.”
Date: “We have a ski house in Vermont that we head up to every weekend in the winter, my whole family skiis! Have you ever been?”
Me: “Yeah once, I hated it and never went again. I don’t like the cold.”
Catch my drift? Aside from being the ultimate buzz- and convo-killer, I was as negative as Nancy could ever be. Every other word out of my mouth was no, I hate it, I’m scared of that, I was never good at that.
Snooze. I wouldn’t want to date me either.
I left the date pretty intensely focused on how much of a drag I was. I truly had nothing to say about myself. At all.
When prompted to tell you about myself, my usual responses are as follows:
- I’m a musician! I play guitar, piano, and I sing.
- I love to draw and paint, anything artsy and creative
- I’m studying to get my personal training certification!
- I bake cookies. A lot.
When I said each of those things on this date, I felt….like a fraud. When was the last time I picked up my guitar and tuned those strings? How long ago did I last use my watercolors?
That’s when it hit me, hard and fast. What am I even doing with myself? With my life?I’m just existing, going through the motions of school, work, homework, sleep. Where was the fun? Where was the good stuff?
Enter – Gretchen Rubin and The Happiness Project. Around the same time I went on this date, I picked up a copy of The Happiness Project. For those who haven’t read it, The Happiness Project was Rubin’s way of getting back to the good stuff in life, and teaching herself to be better for it. Each month for one year, she focused on a different facet of her life & happiness. The focuses each month ranged from her physical health, to her marriage, her career, and her spirituality. The habits formed each month carried over to the next, so by December, she was a lean mean happiness machine.
This sounded oh so good to my Virgo brain. Monthly goals? And To-do lists? And Habit trackers? And accountability? And making simple, fun things intensely complicated?! Count. Me. In.
and so, this blog was born.
I wanted a space to document my own Happiness Project, and longed for a new creative outlet. Along the way, I discovered the joy that is sharing your entire life on the internet. *jokes* Rather, I learned how easy it is to connect with people when you just really go for it.
Wondering where to begin? here.
Follow along with my happiness project round 2, and learn how to design your own year-long happy journey