So… March was weird.
It was like everyone I didn’t want to hear from got together and planned to text/call me within a three day period, just to see if I’d lose my shit. I didn’t, but came pretty close.
These people had all been out of my life for a few months (even years) at this point, and I really wasn’t expecting to hear from them. But, of course, the universe handed me another present on a silver platter: An opportunity.
An opportunity to relive everything I’d been through with these people, or let those relationships die. While some of these people were once near and dear to my heart, our relationships had their fair share of problems. I missed them, but didn’t miss the BS. And this time, the BS outweighed the good stuff.
Now I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, but life will hand you the same lesson over and over again until you learn it. This was the most prime example I’d ever experienced so far.
Should I welcome these people back into my life despite what we’ve been through? And despite the fact that I KNOW I’ll end up in this same position again 6 months from now? Or should I thank these people for the role they played in my life, my growth, and the lessons I’ve learned from them, and let them go?
I chose the latter.
It was hard then and it’s hard now a month later.
People who were once my best friends, family even, are now no longer a part of my journey. But I let these people go for a reason. It was their time to grow in their own direction, and my time to grow in mine. If we had stayed near each other, our branches would cross and knot and gnarl, depriving each other of the sunshine we so desperately needed.
I feel good about letting these people go. Mostly because they gave me a hell of a lot of notice that they were ready to leave my life. People always do.
It takes different forms depending on your relationship. In my case, each person had their “tell.”
Person A liked to cancel on plans…without telling me. And not try to reschedule.
Person B liked to tell me I changed. And changed again. And changed again.
Person C liked to give me just enough to hang on, but nothing to help me thrive.
I let these people get away with it for quite a while, as all of them were part of my life for a number of years. But eventually, the same old song n’ dance gets old. You start to realize the small missteps in the choreography more frequently, instead of just noticing when someone falls down.
People come and go, that’s common knowledge. Everyone in our life serves us a purpose. There are things we must learn from them, things we must experience with them. When people’s purposes are fulfilled, it’s their time to move on, and it’s yours, too.
Think about your current relationships for a second.
Is there someone who’s constantly dropping the ball? Someone you don’t see as much anymore, and who isn’t reaching out?
It’s up to you to make that judgement call, or “executive decision” as my high school choir teacher always called it. Is that person worth fighting for? Do you feel you have more to learn from them, and more to contribute to their life too? If so, by all means stay connected. Sometimes people just get busy, that’s life. Reach out when you can, and trust your relationship will pick up where it left off when it’s supposed to.
If there’s nothing left to learn or teach, it’s probably time to let go. The last thing you want is to find yourself stuck in a revolving door of a friendship, with nothing ever improving, and the same bad things happening over and over…and over.
The best part of letting people go? It opens up space for new, wonderful people to enter your life. In March alone, I made two new friends (hey guys!) and met up with a BUNCH of people from my past – good people. People that are worth the time and energy, and who build me up.
Let go of the dead weight dragging you down. Make room for those who will make you feel like you’re walking on clouds, rather than stuck in quicksand.
Also, main point: People might really suck, but a dog’s love is forever.